Friday, October 31, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Simply Thursday...

You know...everybody has something to gripe about. That makes us human...

Me...I don't fuss about too much. Only a few things...

My biggest gripe is...smell.



Why do some folks feel like they have to take a bath in their smelly stuff?

I mean...people...you don't want to smell my farts...I don't want to smell your brand name of stinky. Especially...after you have been gone for 5 minutes...after the fact.

What gives?

Just because you have no sense of smell left...doesn't mean that I (or other people) don't. Talk about air pollution...

You have invaded my air space. If you continue to do this, I will be forced to retaliate with my own fragrance...

My vapor trails are legendary...in finesse and style...I sneak up on you when you least expect it...

Unlike you...I smell you before you ever get within talking distance.

Me...I hold my breath and squeeze...and walk away...before you hit the ground gasping for air...

How do you like my brand name of stinky?

It's called "Fragrance of Swiss Cheese."

Hope you like it...

B.D.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Wordless Wednesday...



"Sit and daydream, and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind." - Longfellow

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Weekend Report...

Didn't get anything done Friday...



Yesterday, I did get motivated and got a lot done. Fired up the Weber last night and grilled some steaks with baked potato and tonight, my daughter and her boyfriend are coming over for some grilled leg quarters and homemade pinto beans and fried yellow squash.

And yes...I do the fixin' because Julie is more than happy to let me have free rein of the kitchen...as long as I clean up my mess...



Enjoy your day!!!
B.D.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Working for the weekend...



Today...starts out with rain...oh boy.

Just a tad bit late there big guy, summer's over. We needed it then, but hey, who am I to complain about a little rain.

I'm off...I'm free...I'm away from those total idiots at work...Woo-Hoo!!!

I'm in my 'Fortress of Solitude' and want, nor care of anything, or anybody.

My brain rests...my stress dissolves...murder leaves my heart...my zig and zag are balanced in perfect harmony as one with the...hey, is that a doughnut?

Ah...peace. What's a little rain...means I don't have to wash the truck now. My 'to do list' just got shorter and I haven't even lifted a finger yet.

Amazing...



B.D.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Weekend Report...

I like this three day off routine...



I have to say thanks to my girls (Vicky & Tracy) for the B-day cards they sent me. It was a low key day even though, turning 51 means I made it through another winter...

Fired up 'Big Momma' for some ribs, brisket and leg quarters. Brisket is great, but it takes a long-long time to cook.



My mother-in-law, sister-in-law, my son, his wife, and my grandson came over and chowed down.



Today...Robyn, has a party to attend for her T-ball team to get their trophies from the coach.

Then...

It's back home and cut the yard again.



Ah life...gotta love it.

B.D.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wordless Wednesday...



"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Tips for Northerners Moving South...

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.

3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

6. Do not buy food at the movie store.

7. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

9. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.

10. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

11. People walk slower here.

12. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

13. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

14. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

15. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

16. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.

17. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!", stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

18. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

19. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

20. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.

22. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.

23. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.

24. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

25. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.

26. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also hear expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".

27. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.

28. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.

Weekend Repoet...

Yep...I like this three day off stuff.



I can get more done around the house and still have time for a little R & R.
Knock out my 'to do list' spend some quality time with my family, goof off, relax, unwind...

I can put up with BS for 4-10 hour days.



Meanwhile...

I might grill some hot wings this afternoon. That, will take care of two basic needs...chicken (for my wife) and flames (for me).

Also...

I'll make up some rub this week...



Because I'll bring 'Big Momma' to life next weekend.

Thursday will be my B-day, (51) so I'll fill the air next weekend with the sweet smell of 'Q' to celebrate this.





Unless it rains...

Then we'll go to plan B.

B.D.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Working for the Weekend...



I got to see my girls (Vicky & Tracy) last weekend...

It is always a pleasure to see these fine lovely ladies. They are so much fun to be around and being with them...I forget about the world for awhile.

These two gals...are a breath of fresh air. I love Julie...but I also love these two gals. I can say...I love three women...and not get into trouble for saying that.

Lucky me...

I kind of like this 4-10 hour day work week...and being off for three days.

It seems...I can get more done.

I'm also not as likely now...to strangle some college educated dip wad...as I was a few months ago...it's kind of nice...and lucky for them.




It's about time to dust off the old chili recipe and bring it back into the rotation for our culinary pleasure. Can't wait to smell that again...

As far as everything else...

My to do list is getting shorter, my beer is always cold and the world...can just take a flying...

B.D.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Wordless Wednesday...



"All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us."

B.D.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Weekend Report...



Sorry I've been away...

My black bear, had to have her first toe on her right paw amputated. The test results showed (from the sample taken last week) it was cancer.

Our computers are upstairs so I've stayed downstairs to keep her from following me everywhere.

Just trying to keep her off that paw...unless she has to go outside to do her business. The back deck has a bunch of steps, so we're going out to the front yard.

And of course...she can smell the pit sitting in the driveway and heads for it every time out. She could tell I was cooking, but she didn't know where...now she does.

You see...my black bear is smart, when she sees me stick a towel in my back pocket, she knows I'm fixing to cook. I might make it out the back door once or twice before she cuts me off at the pass and does a sling shot maneuver around me to wedge herself between the door and myself. In other words...she's going out...with or without my blessings.

But when I cooked on the pit, I would go through the garage. She knew I was cooking, but didn't know where...now she does.




On another note:

Robyn had a softball game early yesterday morning, then their school had Country Day. So...it was full day had by all.

Cooked some thick cut pork chops on the Holland last night with baked potatoes and garden cut green beans.


Not bad for a white boy...

B.D.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Today's Economy...

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock
one year ago you would now have $49.00 left.

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year
ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for recycling...you would have $214.00 cash.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is
to drink heavily and recycle...It's called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found the average American walks about 900
miles a year.

Another study found Americans drink, on the average,
22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Makes You Proud To Be An American...

B.D.